A myriad of wasted events…

Byron Murphy shows how we could make life a bit more fun, by aiming our night time social events towards dates and holidays that have real significance. 

We always hear of the about the Irish drinking culture in a negative light on the news and from the lips of band wagon hopping politicians, and maybe this is not entirely undeserved. Walking through town on a Saturday night is a grand testament to this. Don’t worry, you’re not reading another self righteous “plight of society” rant, I myself enjoy the odd casual night out with a few friends and I’ve been partial to the serious “Where did I leave my kidney?” sessions. The solution to our antisocial image, I feel, is to give meaning to these events and celebrate one of the many occasions which pass us by every year.

      The first of these, and the event which inspired me to write this, is the annual birthday. Now you may say “Byron you fascinating rapscallion that’s a moot point, everyone celebrates their birthday!” This is true but we tend not to properly celebrate it. What I mean is we celebrate the date of our birthday, which I feel is illogical. What you should do is start the night before and when 12 o clock comes around break out the champers. Then the day after you can celebrate the date itself. It just makes more practical sense. That’s what I did this year, and it was fantastic.

      One wasted annual festivity is Victory in Europe Day, celebrating the cessation of the Second World War. Many of the Allied nations (with specific reference to our friendly neighbourhood oppressors) view this as the symbol of a colossal moral victory over the evil Axis force, marking their surrender on the 7^th and 8^th of May. Now Ireland was not technically part of WWII, we simply went about our business while allowing the odd British fighter pilot to sneak Scooby Doo style over the border. That said, I think everybody can appreciate peace and what better way to do this than borrowing a boat and re-enacting the opening scene of Saving Private Ryan on Garryvoe beach.

      Another example of this is Martin Luther King Day. Occurring on the third Monday in January, it is a time when African Americans can celebrate the life of the man who fronted the Civil Rights movement and a time when white Americans can pay their respects to the inspirational leader they shot. Again, not an Irish holiday but since America celebrates St. Patrick’s Day I feel it is a fair trade.

      Mardi Gras is a holiday which we do celebrate in one sense. Across the Atlantic it is tradition on the day before Ash Wednesday to drive/fly/swim to New Orleans where large parades take place, one of these being the famous flash-for-beads parade. In Ireland we eat lots of pancakes. I like pancakes as much as the next man but I reckon something of a reorganisation is warranted in this regard.

      Last but not least is the vastly underappreciated International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Falling on the 19^th of September, we should all honour the Golden Age of Piracy annually. Not limited to speech, it is also an opportune time to don the pirate regalia and bury a doghouse in the place of a treasure chest (Take the dog out first). I do fear however that this event may alienate some people so I feel we should consider making the 20^th of September ‘International Talk Like a Dyslexic Pirate Day’. RAAAA!!

      The point I’m trying to make is that a big part of why Ireland is viewed as a nation of alcoholics (see the episode of Family Guy where Peter traces his roots) is because we drink all the time for no reason. We should therefore instead drink all the time for an actual reason. There are many more occasions than the ones listed above and that’s without bringing in holidays from other cultures, something we should be doing anyway. So the next time you want to go out and have a laugh spend a minute by typing the date into Wikipedia and find yourself a reason to celebrate.